Some REAL Fun Statistics

I have gone through Amazon to see how many books are written about Peri-menopause - 372! I've not had a chance to look through them all, but I did discover something really cool: Once I am all done with the PERI part, my life will be a total bliss. Just read some of the book covers for what's to come:

'The Perfect Menopause: 7 Steps to the best time of your life';
'The Secret Pleasures of Menopause'...
And then:
'Preventing Menopause: How to stop Menopause before it starts' - where was this book BEFORE it all started??? I could have prevented it! I could have defied my old age, my dry-leafness, my hotness! I could have postponed my sleepless nights and my famous mood swings! My hair would still be luscious and shiny, and my wrinkles just laugh-lines!
Oh, one more: 'The Idiot's Guide to Menopause'. Now, I am already depressed. Do I really need this one?

According to the US Census (Census 2000), in the US, 6000 women reach menopause daily. According to SWAN (Study of Women Across the Nation), among women between 40 and 45, only 5% experienced menopause - I've always known that I am one of The Chosen!

With women now living longer lives (up to 85 years of age) as compared with 50 years ago, we now have an increasing bunch of Secretly Pleased women, going through the best time of their lives. And here I thought it was because they pay less property taxes than me.

One day, when I have enough time, I will go through these books and figure out why the path to the blissful part of my life is so annoying and distressful. And, if menopause is such a normal part of aging (that is a nice word for 'getting damn old'), why are there TREATMENTS for it?

And, if you think that at least you've reached your independence from that little daily chemical - The Pill, guess again: 51% of pregnancies in peri-menopausal women are unplanned. I would really like to interview the 49%, though: do they really have the energy for a baby? What drugs are they on?

Oh, one more number: my peri-menopause may last up to 8 (!!!) years, so my early peri-menopause may turn into a perfectly late menopause! And I will proudly join the ranks of the average.