This is precisely how I look now - inside, that is.
January, 2009. I moved into a new place after a very stressful year in my personal life. The new place had a weird heating system, so for weeks I was waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and uncomfortable. Several times I'd have to change, jump back in bed and hope to quickly doze of and catch up on my sleep. Until one day in March (was I in denial!) I got sweaty in the middle of the day. And the revelation came to me - HOT FLASH!!!
I was 43 (and a half, but who's counting). I am a runner. I am in great shape. It CANNOT happen to ME!
I went to the doctor - the 2 days it took to analyze my blood I prayed that it was brain tumor, not peri-menopause. I was exasperated, angry, and crushed. It felt like the end of me as I'd known me - a WHOLE WOMAN...
So I was discussing my new condition with anyone who'd listen, hoping that the more I talked about it, the better my chances were to get rid of it. I went on the net, hoping to find how to reverse me back into the WOMAN. I cried, I screamed. And then I laughed. Still laughing at how pathetic it is to refuse myself, to be sad about the inevitable because of the lack of information AND because of the way the society treats Menopause - the old woman's issue.
I dedicate this blog to the "old" women! :-)) I intend to capture as much available information as possible and bring it to whoever is willing to read it and get educated.
So read on...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ok, I buy into this blog. At every age we buy into what is supposed to be like being that age. As teens we buy into being little witches, in our twenties we buy into Cosmo and being sexy (actually, trying to be sexy), thirties and forties the mom decades (coupled with careers, book clubs, fitness, affairs, etc.), and low and behold, around 50 we buy into menopause. At 80, will we buy into organized religion? I say fuck the buying into the 'social norm' and expect something different from yourself. I'll take menopause any day over labor pains, keeping up with the Joneses, hair obsession, and death. I am going to enjoy the process, relish in the lack of periods, swing happily with my moods without affecting those around me, contain the whining, reminisce my youth with nostalgia and not regret or sorrow - least of all sentimentalism!- and experience the rush of this time, the time before old age, the time when we can still look forward, the time when we can blog and express our opinions without giving a shit about approval or contempt. Enjoy the freedom!
ReplyDeleteYes, we have to accept it. After all, what choice do we have? We can be miserable or go with the flow ( or lack of one!!!). Women were not supposed to get to this age, so menopause is a strange part of ageing that was not ever part of the selection process. What I want to know, is should I have my hormones tested or not? Do we just go through it, or does something need to be watched???
ReplyDelete