Like most things that can get us in trouble, personal smells fall into the do-not-even-bring-it-up-or-else category. It's a very closeted question. It's rarely discussed, except maybe with your GYN - oh those guys have heard it all (I change mine often enough, so as to not face a stinking situation).
Yet, smell is one of the most important senses we possess. Animals exude inviting odor for mating, or mark their territory with foul smells. Many plants invite pollinating creatures using their scent - nature is full of examples of how to use the smell to attract or scare.
We have been using nature and chemistry for centuries to enhance our personal scent - the perfumes market is calculated in trillions worldwide. It is crucial in a relationship to smell attractive to your partner AND your children. I am not very lucky at that - the closest I got to finding an 'attractive' scent throughout my years of dating is neutral. My olfactory nerves are highly choosy.
For the longest time I thought it impossible to smell oneself, as our sensory nerves are too accustomed to our own chemistry. Of course, I exclude extreme situation, such as rigorous exercise, or menstruation, or discharge due to some unfortunate visit from foreign bacteria. Personally, I cannot stick my nose into my neck and take a deep breath, like I do with my child. So until recently, I was blissfully unaware of my scent. I guess we change our smell throughout our lives several times - obviously, since we don't smell like babies anymore (would make a great perfume!). But at some point we settle into it
Imagine my surprise when one sunny day I entered my car and smelled the New Me. I knew it was me, because no one else drives my car. I also knew it was me, because soon after I smelled my clothes and BOOM - the new me again. My life is now completely ruled by my hormones, and the chemicals secreted by me via my pores have changed. It's not foul to me (great, right?) but it's not particularly appealing either. I am sure that at some point in time I'll get used to it, stop noticing it, might even learn to like it before it forever gets engraved in my nerves. In the meantime, when I get a whiff of it now and then, I look around with suspicion to see if someone is hiding in my closet or in the back seat of the car. A murderer!
It also gets on my nerves. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with all the changes that I desperately want to crawl out of the new me with all its pains, and sweats, and scents. This whole transition is simply frightening, as change should come one by one. How is it possible that your body gangs up on you. Or is it my hormones that gang up on my body - that's more fitting... But I have no choice but to run with it, sweat with it, have brain freeze with it
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Finish line!
It has now been 2 years since my last period - oh boy. So I thought I'd look back at my arduous journey and smile and congratulate myself on my survival. Kisses on both cheeks.
Looking back, I must share a few thoughts:
Menopause is a step-child of any other hormonal change and physicians don't take it seriously and they seriously underestimate its powers - so you are on your own here. So much of my pains, acids, dizziness, moodiness were treated the conventional way - what a waste of time. I've adjusted...
Don't try to explain how you feel to a man and don't get frustrated over it. He wasn't pregnant either. Just so sad that he had more compassion then...
It's a loooong and very unpleasant trip and every month, sometimes week, brings a new sensation and a new reason to hate life. Be patient. This too shall pass...
If you are as lucky as I am, you will continue having your hot flashes far beyond you last period. It has been two years in my case and I still get them regularly, soaking clothes and all.
Once in a while I come across another product offered on the internet to ease my pain. I laugh my ass off at how some shrewd business people can take advantage of our desperation. Capitalism at its best. :)
The numbness in my fingers is now in the tips only. I am used to it...
Sometimes I have good days and can run at a decent pace, but my good pace has run away from me. I've accepted it...
I can no longer cry on a whim. All my life it was so easy and so easing. So I keep it inside and maybe this ability will come back. It is what it is...
I find that my passions are much more fleeing nowadays; I don't get very excited about anything and if I do, it's for a quick fleeing moment and then it's gone. Just like my periods. I miss my passions...
I've lost my sexuality. I still have sex, I still have the drive and still have the energy for it. But I no longer exude it, it's no longer in my smile, in a twinkle of my eyes, in my laughter. A big part of my femininity which I loved about me so much is gone with my sensuality. I am still on edge about accepting it...
Looking back what would I have done different? I would have accepted the fact of this change and mentally prepared myself for the trip, just as I accepted my growing belly when I was pregnant and the sickness that came with it.
I would have kept loving me...
Looking back, I must share a few thoughts:
Menopause is a step-child of any other hormonal change and physicians don't take it seriously and they seriously underestimate its powers - so you are on your own here. So much of my pains, acids, dizziness, moodiness were treated the conventional way - what a waste of time. I've adjusted...
Don't try to explain how you feel to a man and don't get frustrated over it. He wasn't pregnant either. Just so sad that he had more compassion then...
It's a loooong and very unpleasant trip and every month, sometimes week, brings a new sensation and a new reason to hate life. Be patient. This too shall pass...
If you are as lucky as I am, you will continue having your hot flashes far beyond you last period. It has been two years in my case and I still get them regularly, soaking clothes and all.
Once in a while I come across another product offered on the internet to ease my pain. I laugh my ass off at how some shrewd business people can take advantage of our desperation. Capitalism at its best. :)
The numbness in my fingers is now in the tips only. I am used to it...
Sometimes I have good days and can run at a decent pace, but my good pace has run away from me. I've accepted it...
I can no longer cry on a whim. All my life it was so easy and so easing. So I keep it inside and maybe this ability will come back. It is what it is...
I find that my passions are much more fleeing nowadays; I don't get very excited about anything and if I do, it's for a quick fleeing moment and then it's gone. Just like my periods. I miss my passions...
I've lost my sexuality. I still have sex, I still have the drive and still have the energy for it. But I no longer exude it, it's no longer in my smile, in a twinkle of my eyes, in my laughter. A big part of my femininity which I loved about me so much is gone with my sensuality. I am still on edge about accepting it...
Looking back what would I have done different? I would have accepted the fact of this change and mentally prepared myself for the trip, just as I accepted my growing belly when I was pregnant and the sickness that came with it.
I would have kept loving me...
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