I have gone through Amazon to see how many books are written about Peri-menopause - 372! I've not had a chance to look through them all, but I did discover something really cool: Once I am all done with the PERI part, my life will be a total bliss. Just read some of the book covers for what's to come:
'The Perfect Menopause: 7 Steps to the best time of your life';
'The Secret Pleasures of Menopause'...
And then:
'Preventing Menopause: How to stop Menopause before it starts' - where was this book BEFORE it all started??? I could have prevented it! I could have defied my old age, my dry-leafness, my hotness! I could have postponed my sleepless nights and my famous mood swings! My hair would still be luscious and shiny, and my wrinkles just laugh-lines!
Oh, one more: 'The Idiot's Guide to Menopause'. Now, I am already depressed. Do I really need this one?
According to the US Census (Census 2000), in the US, 6000 women reach menopause daily. According to SWAN (Study of Women Across the Nation), among women between 40 and 45, only 5% experienced menopause - I've always known that I am one of The Chosen!
With women now living longer lives (up to 85 years of age) as compared with 50 years ago, we now have an increasing bunch of Secretly Pleased women, going through the best time of their lives. And here I thought it was because they pay less property taxes than me.
One day, when I have enough time, I will go through these books and figure out why the path to the blissful part of my life is so annoying and distressful. And, if menopause is such a normal part of aging (that is a nice word for 'getting damn old'), why are there TREATMENTS for it?
And, if you think that at least you've reached your independence from that little daily chemical - The Pill, guess again: 51% of pregnancies in peri-menopausal women are unplanned. I would really like to interview the 49%, though: do they really have the energy for a baby? What drugs are they on?
Oh, one more number: my peri-menopause may last up to 8 (!!!) years, so my early peri-menopause may turn into a perfectly late menopause! And I will proudly join the ranks of the average.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Baby, I am HOT!
Yes, I AM! When I put on a little sexy black dress, beautiful shoes, some make up, some perfume, a sexy smile - oooh, I am hot! But when on top of that I get my Hot Flash - you just hold on, baby, I am smokin'! It's good to get them when you are most proud - it teaches humility. That's what I tell myself, hoping that no one around notices.
I like getting them when I run, because then it doesn't matter, as I am already half-naked, red and dripping sweat, hoping that my urethra can hold its own against the bladder for another mile.
The Hot Flashes during the night have a character of their own. Hard to explain how offensive it can be to fall back asleep in the detestably wet sheets after one of those. But I am so desperate for sleep, I don't care. And then, in the middle of the night, my little baby crawls in my bed and I pray that she's too sleepy to notice the sheets, even though she notices that I am wearing a nighty different from the one I went to bed in (that one and the two more after it are long in the laundry). Sleep is overrated anyway. Thank Latin America and Africa for my coffee. Oh, shoot, I am not supposed to drink coffee, as it (allegedly) induces hot flashes! What else can I do to keep my eyes open????
But as I read on about the hot flashes and what other women experience, I start to clearly see the reality:
a. Mine are not the worst. Apparently, there are women who pass out during hot flashes.
b. You can try forever all sorts of homeopathic and pharmaceutical remedies and hope that one of them would help more than would hurt you, and most-likely by the time you find it, your hot flashes will be gone naturally.
c. I can actually get used to them! I almost missed them when I didn't have them for 3 weeks last summer, which usually happens when they are replaced by an occasional menstruation (but that's for another blog...)
Women's Health Initiative has been conducting several large studies under the watchful eyes of the FDA and NIH - fun bed-time read: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/whi/e-a_faq.htm.
Ladies, do not despair! There've been no deaths reported. Unless you are hit by a Hot Flash and pass out while running on a busy street!
I like getting them when I run, because then it doesn't matter, as I am already half-naked, red and dripping sweat, hoping that my urethra can hold its own against the bladder for another mile.
The Hot Flashes during the night have a character of their own. Hard to explain how offensive it can be to fall back asleep in the detestably wet sheets after one of those. But I am so desperate for sleep, I don't care. And then, in the middle of the night, my little baby crawls in my bed and I pray that she's too sleepy to notice the sheets, even though she notices that I am wearing a nighty different from the one I went to bed in (that one and the two more after it are long in the laundry). Sleep is overrated anyway. Thank Latin America and Africa for my coffee. Oh, shoot, I am not supposed to drink coffee, as it (allegedly) induces hot flashes! What else can I do to keep my eyes open????
But as I read on about the hot flashes and what other women experience, I start to clearly see the reality:
a. Mine are not the worst. Apparently, there are women who pass out during hot flashes.
b. You can try forever all sorts of homeopathic and pharmaceutical remedies and hope that one of them would help more than would hurt you, and most-likely by the time you find it, your hot flashes will be gone naturally.
c. I can actually get used to them! I almost missed them when I didn't have them for 3 weeks last summer, which usually happens when they are replaced by an occasional menstruation (but that's for another blog...)
Women's Health Initiative has been conducting several large studies under the watchful eyes of the FDA and NIH - fun bed-time read: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/whi/e-a_faq.htm.
Ladies, do not despair! There've been no deaths reported. Unless you are hit by a Hot Flash and pass out while running on a busy street!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Meno-Essentials
There are over 16 million sites dedicated the M issue on Yahoo alone. I didn't get through them all but there were some funky statistics I came across:
1. September is a Menopause Awareness Month! Had I not gone through some obscure websites, I surely would have heard about it on the radio, or the Channel 4 Morning News, right?
2. Things that could trigger early menopause:
a. Smoking (anything we haven't blamed on it?)
b. Vegetarian (don't they suffer enough already?)
c. Very thin athletes - That Would Be ME! (And here I thought I was making
myself stronger and healthier!)
d. Fashion-model thin (who did the study - a fat woman???)
e. Anorexic or bulimic (I didn't know they HAD menstruation in the first
place)
f. Never had children (Nuns?)
g. African-American origin (higher breast cancer risk, higher heart attack
risk, and now this too?)
h. Mediterranean or So. European origin (at least their skin is safe from
cancer! BTW, my mother had hers in her late 50's)
i. Poor (Wow! Damn those rich!)
j. Overweight (we live in a vain society - EVERYBODY is overweight!)
Etc., etc., etc., etc.
The way I see it, you fall into at least on of these categories, which you'll blame for the onset of your new M condition. And no matter what you call it: "The new beginning", "The Change", "The Third Age" (this one is my favorite) - it sucks! It really does! Personally, I refer to myself as a dried-up leaf.
Please, share some good names with me. :-)
1. September is a Menopause Awareness Month! Had I not gone through some obscure websites, I surely would have heard about it on the radio, or the Channel 4 Morning News, right?
2. Things that could trigger early menopause:
a. Smoking (anything we haven't blamed on it?)
b. Vegetarian (don't they suffer enough already?)
c. Very thin athletes - That Would Be ME! (And here I thought I was making
myself stronger and healthier!)
d. Fashion-model thin (who did the study - a fat woman???)
e. Anorexic or bulimic (I didn't know they HAD menstruation in the first
place)
f. Never had children (Nuns?)
g. African-American origin (higher breast cancer risk, higher heart attack
risk, and now this too?)
h. Mediterranean or So. European origin (at least their skin is safe from
cancer! BTW, my mother had hers in her late 50's)
i. Poor (Wow! Damn those rich!)
j. Overweight (we live in a vain society - EVERYBODY is overweight!)
Etc., etc., etc., etc.
The way I see it, you fall into at least on of these categories, which you'll blame for the onset of your new M condition. And no matter what you call it: "The new beginning", "The Change", "The Third Age" (this one is my favorite) - it sucks! It really does! Personally, I refer to myself as a dried-up leaf.
Please, share some good names with me. :-)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I am not kidding!
This is precisely how I look now - inside, that is.
January, 2009. I moved into a new place after a very stressful year in my personal life. The new place had a weird heating system, so for weeks I was waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and uncomfortable. Several times I'd have to change, jump back in bed and hope to quickly doze of and catch up on my sleep. Until one day in March (was I in denial!) I got sweaty in the middle of the day. And the revelation came to me - HOT FLASH!!!
I was 43 (and a half, but who's counting). I am a runner. I am in great shape. It CANNOT happen to ME!
I went to the doctor - the 2 days it took to analyze my blood I prayed that it was brain tumor, not peri-menopause. I was exasperated, angry, and crushed. It felt like the end of me as I'd known me - a WHOLE WOMAN...
So I was discussing my new condition with anyone who'd listen, hoping that the more I talked about it, the better my chances were to get rid of it. I went on the net, hoping to find how to reverse me back into the WOMAN. I cried, I screamed. And then I laughed. Still laughing at how pathetic it is to refuse myself, to be sad about the inevitable because of the lack of information AND because of the way the society treats Menopause - the old woman's issue.
I dedicate this blog to the "old" women! :-)) I intend to capture as much available information as possible and bring it to whoever is willing to read it and get educated.
So read on...
January, 2009. I moved into a new place after a very stressful year in my personal life. The new place had a weird heating system, so for weeks I was waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and uncomfortable. Several times I'd have to change, jump back in bed and hope to quickly doze of and catch up on my sleep. Until one day in March (was I in denial!) I got sweaty in the middle of the day. And the revelation came to me - HOT FLASH!!!
I was 43 (and a half, but who's counting). I am a runner. I am in great shape. It CANNOT happen to ME!
I went to the doctor - the 2 days it took to analyze my blood I prayed that it was brain tumor, not peri-menopause. I was exasperated, angry, and crushed. It felt like the end of me as I'd known me - a WHOLE WOMAN...
So I was discussing my new condition with anyone who'd listen, hoping that the more I talked about it, the better my chances were to get rid of it. I went on the net, hoping to find how to reverse me back into the WOMAN. I cried, I screamed. And then I laughed. Still laughing at how pathetic it is to refuse myself, to be sad about the inevitable because of the lack of information AND because of the way the society treats Menopause - the old woman's issue.
I dedicate this blog to the "old" women! :-)) I intend to capture as much available information as possible and bring it to whoever is willing to read it and get educated.
So read on...
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