Perimenopause, Interrupted

As fate and my body would have it, March was a strange month: I've had all of three days of something that resembled a proof of womanhood (chafing included), four full weeks of sleep, no hot flashes! I was so excited, I forgot to continue writing my blog. Maybe, I was afraid I'd spook my luck!
My stomach pains disappeared overnight and so did my muscle pains. It was a miracle! I searched in my rejuvenated mind for clues, I tried remember precisely the types of Gods I was praying to the month before (couldn't nail one, I am afraid), the supernatural ingredients in my diet (the only thing I'd added was seaweed) - anything that made this wonder happen. I found articles that claim that the miserable path to menopause can last as little as one year. I daydreamed that it would be me.
I waited. And waited. And I called it upon myself. For sure.
It came back, as swift, as taxes. And some!
I managed to discover one more symptom - the chills. Not the cold sweats that cover your body after the hot flash. These come and go as unannounced and as random. It's like jumping stark naked into ice water where not a cell in your body seems to be higher than 50F. As my hypothalamus tried to send extra signals to re-establish the temperature balance, my hormones (which I imagine as tiny mean gnomes dressed in green running up and down my blood vessels) work up another turmoil and throw my lovely me into a hot flash. Talk about a buzz kill.
My car really appreciates it when I run the heater on high followed by A/C on very high.
Well, the bright side is I had a break. AND I know that my car battery is working well.