Well, it is supposed to be 34, but since I am still waiting for the last one to arrive, I'll concentrate on the 33 symptoms - it's a long list, really.
I've told you all about my hot flashes (1), night sweats (2), pain (3), sleeplessness (4).
We are on to Symptom #5 - Mood Swings.
The only difference between my mood swings and the bipolar disorder is that my version of abnormally elevated energy levels is yelling at the top of my lungs at an asshole in the car in front of me for cutting in. Then my energy immediately drops to the minus levels and I start hating myself for yelling at the guy. Luckily, the windows were closed, so he couldn't have heard me, so I am happy again. My energy comes back, AND...
there is that asshole again. Clinically it's referred to as 'rapid cycling'.
I also experience waves of depression. Well, no, Tsunami of depression, when a hole in my running socks suddenly reminds me of trapped Chilean miners, or Darfur or something equally atrocious and my intestines tie into a boa tie. And all I can do is lie down and cry, thinking of how pathetic I am, which, in turn, makes me even more depressed.
The good news is that many of the art geniuses out there are believed to have suffered from bipolar disorder (Van Gogh, anybody?). So my plan is that while my own version of the disorder is lasting, I should quickly try to create something artsy that would become an instant masterpiece. If only I didn't spend all my elevated energy on that asshole...
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Whew, what I'm having is nothing compared to what you have been through! I have missed a single period so far, and thanks to the cold mountain air, the hot flashes allow me to turn off the heater from time to time. Ron and I swapped sides in the bed a year ago, so now I'm under the window, and poor fellow is shivering by morning, when I have removed the covers. I remember my mom talking about being drenched in sweat when she went through it, but now she says that never happened, so who knows? I figure I'm still in the early stages, anyway.
ReplyDeleteIt was like when I was expecting Alan, and suddenly I felt a little cramp right around his due date. I thought "this isn't so bad!". A few hours later when I was in the hospital waiting for full dilation, crying from pain, and then in the delivery room close to screaming, I realized my foolishness.
Ron went through the same thing when we brought baby Alan home. That first week, he was so tiny, with itty bitty lungs, with the daintiest of cries, and Ron wondered why people complained so much about babies. It was a week later when he couldn't hear me over Alan's shrieks that he entered reality.
So, now I see what I have to look forward to. I don't envy my family, especially my poor husband!