Finish line!

It has now been 2 years since my last period - oh boy. So I thought I'd look back at my arduous journey and smile and congratulate myself on my survival. Kisses on both cheeks.

Looking back, I must share a few thoughts:

Menopause is a step-child of any other hormonal change and physicians don't take it seriously and they seriously underestimate its powers - so you are on your own here. So much of my pains, acids, dizziness, moodiness were treated the conventional way - what a waste of time. I've adjusted...

Don't try to explain how you feel to a man and don't get frustrated over it. He wasn't pregnant either. Just so sad that he had more compassion then...
It's a loooong and very unpleasant trip and every month, sometimes week, brings a new sensation and a new reason to hate life. Be patient. This too shall pass...

If you are as lucky as I am, you will continue having your hot flashes far beyond you last period. It has been two years in my case and I still get them regularly, soaking clothes and all.

Once in a while I come across another product offered on the internet to ease my pain. I laugh my ass off at how some shrewd business people can take advantage of our desperation. Capitalism at its best. :)

The numbness in my fingers is now in the tips only. I am used to it...
Sometimes I have good days and can run at a decent pace, but my good pace has run away from me. I've accepted it...

I can no longer cry on a whim. All my life it was so easy and so easing. So I keep it inside and maybe this ability will come back. It is what it is...

I find that my passions are much more fleeing nowadays; I don't get very excited about anything and if I do, it's for a quick fleeing moment and then it's gone. Just like my periods. I miss my passions...

I've lost my sexuality. I still have sex, I still have the drive and still have the energy for it. But I no longer exude it, it's no longer in my smile, in a twinkle of my eyes, in my laughter. A big part of my femininity which I loved about me so much is gone with my sensuality. I am still on edge about accepting it...

Looking back what would I have done different? I would have accepted the fact of this change and mentally prepared myself for the trip, just as I accepted my growing belly when I was pregnant and the sickness that came with it.

I would have kept loving me...